6.11.2006

Crazy Turkish Night (Part One)

So we're chillin' in the hostel like rappers do after concerts, and we decide to go out, because that's what you do when you're on vacation. The girl nextdoor in our luxurious palace of a hostel was around and staying for the night before her voyage to Tel Aviv the next day for a summer program. Turns out she was a student at Columbia Law School and coincidentally good friends with Mike Cherkezian's sister (not the one previously mentioned, but trust us in saying she's hot too). Wait, Mike is probably reading this, I should stop.

So we all go out for the night and check out some places. We walked into a place that had dark tinted windows and some people inside. Remembering the last time we walked into a place like this, with fat women waiting to seduce us, I was a little reluctant. But I had no reason to be - this place was a Turkish karaoke bar.

We sat down in the corner and were visibly the only Americans in there. There were a good two dozen Turkish people our age standing around the microphone screaming out songs. Most of the songs were American, as we flipped through the karaoke book to decide what we wanted to sing. The Turkish people were joyfully belting out tunes that I used to dance to at proms.

For some reason we thought we should pick the songs with the fastest English lyrics possible.

Song 1: So the first event was Katie and I singing We Didn't Start the Fire. The Turkish people were more perplexed than anything. They sat at their table and patiently awaited a song they gave a damn about so they can get up and enjoy their night. So when we finished, they applauded, and got up to sing a Kylie Minogue song or something.

Song 2: So the screen then said "It's the End of the World by REM" and the Turks looked and all sad and sat down and waited for Chase and Ryan to be done.

Song 3: Chase and I decided to do Real Slim Shady next, and I rapped the whole thing spinning on my back and twirling the microphone over my head.

Song 4: Kylie Minogue's "Can't get you out of my head", and Chase was so not sober during this song then when you were supposed to sing "La La La" (you know what part I'm talking about) Chase yelled into the microphone "Allahu Akbar". Ryan's face looked very very horrified. But no one killed us.

At the end, when we were set to leave I wrote down the phrase I learned from the Turkish kids "Seni Seviyorum" (I love you) and gave it to one of the Turkish girls. She wrote back in English, "But I don't love you :)". So I used the other phrase I learned from the kids and wrote "Seni Dovmek Istiyorum" (I want to fight you) and all the Turks laughed happily and we took a photo together, symbolically mending the hatred they felt for us for unnecessarily choosing fast-lyric American songs, and called it a night.

Katie, if you're reading this we miss you! Good luck in Tel Aviv and let us know what the dilly is.

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